About a year ago, I wrote a blog post in Swaziland titled Generation of World Changers, in which I
reflected on the brokenness and vulnerability in my teammates and myself, and
how our lives can be reflected in Paul’s words from 1 Corinthians 9:19-23.
Today, back in Swaziland and surrounded by a whole new level
of brokenness, I’d like to take this a bit further and share what God has been
teaching me about the power of testimony.
Even at 22 short years on this glorious earth, I’ve had some
bumps and bruises along the way. I’ve stumbled and fallen so far from God I
never believed I would recover. I would suppress my anguish until it would
manifest in the unhealthiest of ways. It wasn’t until I finally couldn’t take
it anymore, until I felt I was going to implode, until I recognized my path of
self-destructiveness, that I shared my suffering with someone else, and then
began to experience relief.
Healing – emotional, spiritual, physical – begins with
sharing, with opening up about what’s going on inside. Of course, ultimate
healing comes from sharing your pain with God. But in an age where we need
immediate, tangible feedback, it’s seemingly easier to share with people than
with God, at least at first. With that, he provides people in our lives to
share our burdens with, whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or
counselor. There is value in sharing your pain with others, and I will explore
that in depth in a moment, but first, let’s look at what it means to share
burdens with God.
Two years ago, in a moment of total despair, a friend shared
with me this verse:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
These, of course, are Jesus’ words in the first gospel of
the New Testament. Notice that the first word he says is, come. Come to me. The
first step is a willing choice to go to
Christ with your burdens. After that, he says, all you who are weary and burdened. He specifies all of you - not some of you
who are weary, or only a few of you
who are burdened. He says, all of you.
Once we make the willing choice to go to him in our suffering, he will give us rest. Healing. Relief. Eventually, that
peace turns to joy. And this forms our testimony of grace.
Side note: being vulnerable and bringing burdens to God also
includes sharing your anger at our Father. Not all David’s Psalms were of joy
and praise (e.g., Psalm 22). God answers those cries, as well.
After I reached the point of healing, both from sharing my
burdens with others and with God, I began to learn the value of my story – my
testimony. In the book of Acts, the apostle Paul also learned this lesson.
Paul began his story as Saul, who persecuted the early
church. He approved the execution of Stephen, who is now called the first
martyr for Christ. He “breathed murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples”
(Acts 9:1), until one day Jesus revealed himself to Saul as a flash of light
that blinded the poor man. Long story short, Saul met some of the disciples and
his sight was restored. God renamed him Paul, and he spent the rest of his life
spreading God’s Word.
In Acts 22, Paul was arrested in Jerusalem for teaching
against the Jewish practices and for allegedly bringing Greeks into the temple.
While he was in prison, Paul was allowed to speak to a great crowd of people,
with whom he shared his story.
I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. I studied under Gamaliel and was thoroughly trained in the law of our ancestors. I was just as zealous for God as any of you are today. I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison, as the high priest and all the Council can themselves testify. I even obtained letters from them to their associates in Damascus, and went there to bring these people as prisoners to Jerusalem to be punished. Acts 22:3-5
To start his speech, Paul provides a brief history of where
he grew up and his schooling. He confirms his faith background by saying, I was just as zealous for God as any of you
are today. He recognizes their love for God and relates to it. After those
three initial statements, Paul blatantly admits to persecuting Jews, killing
both men and women for their faith and practices. He hides nothing. He doesn’t
give gory details, but he doesn’t hold back on his honesty. From there, he
continues to recount how Jesus revealed himself to him, which led him to teach
the gospel everywhere he went.
How did the crowd respond to this story? Did they fall on
their knees and call Jesus their Lord? Sadly, no. They demanded he be executed,
and the prison commander took Paul to be flogged. And this is just one chapter
of Paul’s persecution and suffering for the sake of the gospel.
Later, in a letter to the church in Corinth, Paul addressed
his testimony and his role among the apostles:
For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. Whether, then, it is I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed.” 1 Corinthians 15:9-11
Paul’s story is not a pretty one, especially before accepted
Christ as his Savior. But by the grace of
God I am what I am… It was God’s grace that made Paul the apostle he
became, the apostle who wrote a majority of the New Testament, and whose words
are studied and shared thousands of years later.
In the specific incident in Acts 22, Paul was arrested in
Jerusalem by the Israelites – God’s own people. Sometimes, it will be our own
family or friends who disown us for our story. Paul and the other disciples
were scoffed and persecuted in city after city during their travels. They were
arrested and stoned and beaten numerous times. But they always persevered, and
God rescued them from every situation. And their work bore fruit:
As they traveled from town to town, they delivered the decisions reached by the apostles and elders in Jerusalem for the people to obey. So the churches were strengthened in the faith and few daily in numbers. Acts 16:4-5
A testimony can be defined as “a public recounting of a
religious conversion or experience” (New Oxford American Dictionary). This is
the form of testimony Paul shared in Jerusalem and several other places. My
personal favorite definition, however, is, “evidence or proof provided by the
existence or appearance of something.” My testimony is evidence of God’s
existence, grace, and love.
Once I shared my weary and burdened soul with Christ, my
story became God’s story. It became a story not of my own life, but of God’s
grace in my life.
